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  AMERICAN TITLE V


Whose Book Will Be the Next


American Title?
 

 

ROUND TWO / BEST HERO & HEROINE SUBMISSIONS


Marie-Claude Bourque, American Title Writing Competition Finalist
Marie-Claude Bourque
Seattle, WA
 
ANCIENT WHISPERS
(Paranormal)

Heroine:
A pediatric nurse in Providence, Lily yearns for a peaceful life in her own dream home with her beloved great-aunt under her care. Purposefully ignoring her latent magical abilities, she seeks an existence far different from her unstable childhood. Can she be ready to embrace the soul of another and fulfill her legacy as the priestess of an ancient coven?

Hero:
With black curls falling over his smoky-green eyes, Gabriel Callan's dangerous air betrays none of the turmoil brooding in his heart. Member of the Priory of Callan, a Celtic brotherhood of cursed immortal sorcerers and alchemists, each deadly and haunted by a tragic past, Gabriel remains tortured by the devastating events of the 1755 Acadian deportation. He wants nothing more than to reunite with his lost soul mate, now reborn to this century as the cool-headed Lily Bellefontaine. But is it Lily that he loves, or the memory of his lost fiancée?

Judges' Comments:

Flavia Knightsbridge -- Your description of Gabriel and his quest is so gripping that Lily comes across as pretty ho-hum by comparison. I've seen my share of reluctant heroines, but one who yearns to live in a dream home with her great-aunt? C'mon!

Hilary Ross -- The hero sounds attractive and the heroine pleasantly good-natured, which ought to work out quite well.

Leslie Kazanjian -- Haunted, tragic, dangerously sexy Gabriel Callan, with his black curls and sea-green eyes, sounds utterly intoxicating, and sweet, stubborn, down-to-earth Lily Bellefontaine sounds to be his ideal foil and Celtic soul mate.

Jessica Darago, American Title Writing Competition Contestant
Jessica Darago
Arlington, VA
 
THE SERPENT'S TOOTH
(Historical)

Heroine:
Reba MacKenzie wants to save the world, whether it wants to be saved or not. That's why she's determined to become a doctor, and she won't be swayed by anyone or anything-- not even her own treacherous heart, leading her toward the last man on earth she should care for. There are too many wrongs to be righted. There are too many ghosts to be avenged.

Hero:
Nate MacDonnell takes many things lightly, but not cards, and not love. He's a gambler, a damn good one, and he's walked away from many a bad hand -- from his family, his duty and his own sins. But he can't walk away from Reba. To have her in his future, he must face his troubled past and his venomous father, the man who wronged them both. He'll risk everything to win her -- his fortune, his freedom and just maybe his life.

Judges' Comments:

Flavia Knightsbridge -- Props to you. Both your hero and heroine have distinct personalities and suitable quests.

Hilary Ross -- The heroine sounds admirable and the hero interesting.

Leslie Kazanjian -- Reba sounds like a stubborn, stalwart do-gooder but, thankfully, not the overly annoying kind; readers will likely identify with her struggles. Nate, too, sounds appealing -- smart, savvy, with problems and passion -- a real Rhett Butler type.

Tamara Hughes, American Title Writing Competition Finalist
Tamara Hughes
Brooklyn Park, MN
 
ONCE UPON A MASQUERADE
(Historical)

Heroine:
Rebecca Bailey is drawn to Christopher from the moment she spies him at the Vanderbilt masquerade ball, but fears he'll discover her secret. She's a house maid impersonating an heiress to attract a wealthy suitor. She's risking her employment, her dignity and her heart to save her father, a gambler who owes hundreds of dollars to brutal men. When those men threaten her life, she has no choice but to trust Christopher, a man who believes she's capable of murder.

Hero:
Self-made shipping magnate Christopher Black would rather sail the seas than mingle with high society. But he refuses to return to his ship until he determines who murdered his best friend. When he meets Rebecca at the ball, he's captivated. He's sure she's the one who can mend his broken heart until he glimpses an emerald comb nestled in her hair -- a comb that links her to his friend's death.

Judges' Comments:

Flavia Knightsbridge -- Not bad, but I'm confused as to how long Rebecca thinks she can convince a wealthy suitor that she's an heiress. Until he marries her? Your characters have strong wants that should provide plenty of conflict. The key will be how you develop them.

Hilary Ross -- The hero and heroine don't appear to be well matched. Even if, on the face of it, Christopher is self-made, it seems like it would work better if Rebecca were genteel, e.g., a governess and not a maid.

Leslie Kazanjian -- This sincere, self-sacrificing, Cinderella-type heroine sounds almost universally appealing and who wouldn't adore a loyal, self-made magnate who sweeps one off one's feet at a masquerade ball?

Michelle Lauren, American Title Writing Competition Contestant
Michelle Lauren
Hampton, VA
 
HOW TO TAME A HARPY
(Urban Fantasy)

Heroine:
Twenty-six-year-old harpy Siren Jones is beautiful, street smart and has a temper with a mind of its own--a combination that has left her no stranger to heartbreak. She moves to Poseidon hoping to start over. However, her bad luck with men returns to haunt her when the murder of a high-profile ex implicates her. To prove her innocence, she turns to an unlikely protector.

Hero:
Tall, dark and lethal, gargoyle Daniel Smith lives in the shadows, considered an outsider even among other supernatural creatures. Past betrayals left him leery of love and he doesn't trust easily. When he rescues Siren from an attack, he tries to stay emotionally distant but cannot deny the attraction between them or the instincts telling him their meeting was more than chance. While he doesn't consider himself hero material, he will stop at nothing to protect the woman who has captured his heart.

Judges' Comments:

Flavia Knightsbridge -- I can get behind a gal trying to come to terms with anger issues. Daniel, however, seems like an amalgam of romance novel clichés: emotionally distant, doesn't trust easily ... who's the person inside the gargoyle?

Hilary Ross -- I find the name "Siren" very unlikely and was put off by the hero being a gargoyle, which makes him sound grotesque.

Leslie Kazanjian -- A heartbroken, temperamental, unlucky-in-love harpy with a name like Siren Jones -- what's not to love? And Daniel's outsider status, even among other supernatural creatures, immediately snares our curiosity and sympathy. I love that he's "tall, dark and lethal!"

Barbara Longley, American Title Writing Competition Finalist
Barbara Longley
St. Paul, MN
 
TRUE TO THE HIGHLANDER
(Time Travel)

Heroine:
Native American Alethia Goodsky never dreamed she'd be sent back in time to save a life. She's a violinist, not a hero. With nothing but her psychic abilities to aid her, she attempts to complete the task so she can go home. Once she realizes she's lost her heart to her self-appointed protector, and a young deaf boy, she's torn. Will she find a way home, or does her future lie in the past?

Hero:
Heir to the earl of Fife, Malcolm has never known a day's peace. Finding Alethia on MacKintosh land means more trouble -- still, something about her eases the disquiet plaguing his soul. Malcolm is determined to keep her by his side and safe -- if only she'd let him. As his passion for Alethia grows, so does his fear she'll be snatched from his side. To keep her, he must defeat the magic that brought Alethia to him.

Judges' Comments:

Flavia Knightsbridge -- Who doesn't love a tortured hero with "disquiet plaguing his soul"? Even better if he's in a kilt! Altheia doesn't seem as well defined, though. It's great that she's Native American and plays the violin, but who is she as a person?

Hilary Ross -- Scots are popular heroes, but a Native American is an unusual heroine. It makes for an interesting combination.

Leslie Kazanjian -- I like the internal and external conflicts both the heroine and hero embody -- crises of eccentric circumstance and compassionate conscience that will test their very souls.

Edie Ramer, American Title Writing Competition Contestant
Edie Ramer
Richfield, WI
 
DEAD PEOPLE
(Paranormal)

Heroine:
Cassie Taylor wants to dunk Luke Rivers and his you're-so-phony sneer in the lake behind his haunted house. Luke rubs Cassie the wrong way, but she soon wants him to rub her the right way. She keeps this to herself. Her former fiancé used her for her paranormal abilities, and she needs a man like a dead person needs a dentist. She stays because of Luke's daughter, whose sad face reminds Cassie of her own childhood with a father and stepmother who treated her like a freak.

Hero:
Raised by a free-loving mother in L.A. and briefly married to a drug-addicted singer, Luke moves to the heartland after gaining custody of his newly discovered 11-year-old daughter. He can write his songs anywhere, but his daughter will be better off away from her unstable mother. He wants normal for his daughter -- which doesn't include a Grinch-like ghost and a pretty ghost buster.

Judges' Comments:

Flavia Knightsbridge -- Your heroine has spunk -- and Flavia loves spunk! Her troubled past and affection for Luke's daughter are also touching. Does Luke have any personal demons that need exorcising along with the ghost?

Hilary Ross -- Neither sounds that amiable; hopefully they will grow on the reader.

Leslie Kazanjian -- Spirited but secretly wounded, attracted to a difficult man despite her best intentions, and brimming with compassion for his lonely child, Cassie sounds like a woman who'll sneak right into the reader's heart. A tough, talented, but troubled Bruce Springsteen type singlehandedly raising a preteen daughter? Readers will want to eat Luke up!

Evonne Wareham, American Title Writing Competition Finalist
Evonne Wareham
Barry, South Wales, UK
 
Round Two Elimination

NEVER COMING HOME
(Romantic Suspense)

Heroine:
Daughter. Wife. Mother. Kaz Elmore isn't any of those things any more. She's learned not to look for a happy ending. Now she's surviving, rebuilding her life, one piece at a time. She needs stability, and she can do that for herself. The last thing Kaz wants is a man. Not even one as sexy as Devlin. Especially not one as sexy as Devlin. Too bad he's the only one who can help her find out what really happened to her daughter.

Hero:
If you knew about Devlin's past, you'd cross the street to avoid him. He's on his third change of name and you really don't want to know about the others. He's done bad things, for good reasons, but all that's over now. He's got money, anonymity and a successful business. But Kaz Elmore is hot, and something is jabbing at him to help her. Could it be his conscience?

Judges' Comments:

Flavia Knightsbridge -- These two sound like a happy-go-lucky pair. (Remind me not to invite them to my next cocktail party.) Your heroine's struggle is compelling, but consider another name for your hero. As a reader I've been Devlined and Dextered to death.

Hilary Ross -- The heroine and hero both sound complex in a way that should make for an interesting story.

Leslie Kazanjian -- Kaz is sad, seasoned, but strong, struggling but independent -- a most sympathetic character. Dev sounds sinfully appealing in all kinds of bad-boy ways!


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