Virgin Heroes Unlike men, who seem to covet the opportunity to sleep with a virgin, most women don't fantasize about being more experienced than their partners. When I polled
readers for this category, I heard one of two standard responses: "Yuck-I hate
THOSE kind of books" or, "I read one of those once and I loved it... I sure would
like to read another one like it. Please provide us with a list." Is reading
about a male virgin a bit like being a classic de-virginizer, once you've tried
it you want to do it again?
Virginity is a gift that can only be given once. Whether male or female, we all
start off without experience. Our gainful search of carnal knowledge often
defines our identity. Regardless of the time period we are born into, we have
codified our "good" girls and "fast" girls, as we have done with our "rakes" and
"puritans." The question to ask is why we infuse a skirt-chasing male with a
greater sense of masculinity because his sexual appetite has prevented him from
discriminating. A man with experience may seem to have more to remember, but not
necessarily more to offer.
What's The Appeal?
This is a subject everyone has very strong feelings about. To begin with, we only
have one chance to lose our virginity (with the exception of Skye O'Malley,
perhaps) and we hope the occasion is meaningful and memorable. But often for
women it isn't-it can be painful and traumatic, while for men the experience,
however fleeting, is at least pleasurable. Many feel social perceptions regarding
chastity are varied. Our society actually encourages sexual promiscuity in males,
and accepts their trophy hunting of maidenheads. We believe the myth that the
more a man experiences, the more he has to offer us. The sexual experience for
men is a rite of passage that initiates a boy into manhood. Whereas, chastity for
a woman has been an issue to prove a child's paternity. For others virginity is a
moral issue. Many believe in the virtue of chastity-that sexual relations are a
gift from God to be shared only by those joined in marriage. In this case, a male
virgin comes as no surprise (whatever the historical context). For those who feel
this way, sharing yourself with only one person is a sacred privilege. And who is
to say that a couple that learns together doesn't somehow offer each other more?
Still, since the era of sexual liberation, the mainstream concept of sexual
morality has shifted. Women are comfortable exploring their sexuality, but still
traditional enough to expect men to take the lead. So why are readers drawn to
virgin heroes? (Think Jamie from Diana Gabaldon's Outlander!) Perhaps it is
because the idea of a man choosing to wait for the right woman or simply a man
who does not pursue sex for the sake of sex is refreshingly romantic and in fact,
demonstrates a strength and quality rarely seen in the male species. Ultimately,
true romantics know that whatever our beliefs about sexuality, and whatever
choices we make, the best experiences happen with those we love.
-Kate Ryan
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